Saturday, September 3, 2011

Just a little update

Found this little guy while antiquing.
I can only assume he escaped from NIMH.
So remember my tiny tape measure? Well, while shopping, I found THIS treasure. I proceeded to send the picture to my boss and inform him that mine was a STEAL as it was only $1.95, so basically he's saving money by employing me. Though this one is an antique so probably very rare and valuable.
 I should have bought it and taken it to Antique Roadshow.
I'm just sitting at the nail salon, having just had my pedicure finished, pretending to read a magazine but really looking at everybody else. So I casually look down at the girl's foot next to me and see the most amazing spectacle ever. 
My mind: "Holy crap this is the BIGGEST big toenail I've ever seen. It's taking over her WHOLE toe!" 
My phone's camera: "You're an idiot. This toenail is of normal proportions." 
My memory now: "My camera phone must be broken. That toenail was enormous." 
My computer: "This toe is totally normal, you're insane."
This photo is misleading. To better understand the reality of this situation, purchase and upload  Photoshop,  take the tutorial and  increase the size of this big toenail.
This is the time of the year when MY people come out to play. You know, those weird people who take Halloween a liiiiittle too seriously. Those people who sit in the dark watching horror movie marathons on television. Those people who force their boyfriends to take them to the theater to see the newest Paranormal Activity (which is coming out soon, Aaron). Those people who stay hold up in their bedrooms reading Stephen King. Those people who see decorations like this and feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Those people who think it will be funny to look up spells on their boyfriend's iPad and save them in their notes and then realize later maybe it was a little weird but then said boyfriend texts and asks them to be honest and tell him if they are a witch and then they realize he appreciated it after all even though he refused to talk to them because he claimed to be "freaked out"
You KNOW I love Buddy. And you KNOW Aaron loves Buddy. But when I asked Aaron if he would buy us tickets (only $107.03, which, considering a consultation with Buddy is at minimum $100 and THEN you have to pay $1200 for the cake, this is such a bargain!) to see him IN DALLAS this November, he said, "I can't handle that." I'm not sure what he means by that because if he can handle Jersey Shore every Thursday night, I'm SURE he can handle New Jersey's Buddy Valastro LIVE for one night.
Needless to say I'm reevaluating this relationship. Seems about time to DTR. 
And as if I wasn't already the best girlfriend ever, I see this tshirt on ebay (for those of you Star Wars noobs, this is a Star Wars shirt) and immediately tell Aaron that I need it.
Me: "Buy for me?"
Aaron: "Sure"
My mind: "What?! Did he just casually agree like he didn't even care?"
Me: "What?!"
Aaron: "Do you need it?"
My mind: " HELLUR! Of COURSE I need it. It's a Jawa and crossbones. I can't believe I've made it this long without it."
Me: "no"
And thus was the end of me getting a Jawa and crossbones shirt. 

P.S. I recorded The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I'm finding that I'm just fast forwarding to the parts when Brad Pitt is young. Also there are WAY too many prosthetic faces going on in this movie. 

P.S.S Does anybody know how to cure chronically chapped lips? Like seriously. I've got a problem.

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