Friday, January 3, 2014

Get out your DSM-V because this dog needs a diagnosis (or diagnoses)

We are fast approaching 2 weeks with our new dog Scout and we love her in spite of and because of her quirks, which is saying a lot because there are many. Let's go through them shall we?

Scout's process for eating:
First, food and water bowls CANNOT be on top of a mat or a towel, otherwise there is pushing and clawing and refusal to eat, until bowls are moved to the floor. 
Scout may have what we call OCD. She begins by touching her nose to her food and then to the floor repeatedly in a sort of compulsive behavioral counting. She's like second season Hannah from Girls. It's disturbing but admittedly pretty cute. 
She then picks out around four pieces of food separately and drops them on the floor where she proceeds to herd them into a pile with her face. This explains the missing hair above her nose. 
From here it goes one of two ways. She either timidly eats one piece and then finishes all of it, or she goes and lays down. 

Playing:
It's for outside, not inside. She only chews toys outside. She only runs outside. She's only a normal dog outside.
She likes to play with other dogs if they aren't too scared of her (she grabbed Erin and Tyler's dog by the collar and pinned her to the ground by her neck). My parent's dog Jack loved playing with her but confession: he's developed a limp since she came around. 
I've NEVER seen a dog this fast. In the words of Vivian Ward, she corners like she's on rails.  

All the dogs waiting patiently for their Christmas presents
Master of her domain:
Her bed is HER bed. If you're a dog, don't come near her while she's on her throne, or she will cut you. 

Shake:
After her first bath, she shook from one side of the apartment to the other all in one go. Granted it's not a very large space but it was like 20 or 30 feet of straight shaking. It was like a scene straight out of Beethoven. Now if we could just get her to learn to shake with her paw, we'd be set. 

Devil eyes:
When dreaming, she opens her eyelids and reveals her eyeballs which are rolled all the way in the back of her head, showing just the whites. She's like Nicodemus from the Rats of NIMH. Coincidentally she seems like she'd be an interesting subject at NIMH. 

These are just a few of the freakish personality traits of Scout. Maybe one day you will be lucky enough to meet her and brave enough to look her in the eyes (because nobody else will). 


Originally we had a no dog on bed policy, then we learned it meant staying in bed for an extra 30 minutes so...

Another quirk: she stares off at nothing a lot. She'll just stand in the middle of the hall or the entry way staring at nothing.