Saturday, August 27, 2011

If I could have a super power it would be the power of persuasion. On second thought, I think I already have that one.

On Friday I headed to work at Waco Hall, just a normal day, not realizing that my life was about to change. Because the hall recently purchased a new sound board that does not fit in the old stage manager's console the crew is in the process of building a new one. By "the crew" I mean the boys who know what they are doing and can be trusted with power tools. I tried drilling in a screw and dropped it four times. I am now on paint duty.
As it turned out we were lacking some necessary tools for the job and therefore had to run to Lowes. My boss, three guys I work with, and myself loaded up in the truck and headed to the home improvement warehouse. So I was just pushing the lopsided cart along... trying not to careen it into other shoppers or endcap displays when all of a sudden I saw it. A tiny tape measure.

Me: I HAVE to have this.

Co-workers: Ask Josh (boss)

Me: It's only $2

Co-workers: He's probably going to say no. Especially after we ask him for this new exact-o knife.

Me: But there are SO many uses.

Co-workers: Like measuring things?

Me: Be serious... there are so many MORE uses.

My co-workers then proceeded to doubt me.

Me: You could measure things. You could use it as a makeshift belt. You could use it in place of fishing line. All you have to do is attach bate to the end and throw it out there. You could use it to strangle somebody if you become a hired assassin. You could tie your hair up with it. If you become a seamstress you can measure your fabric or measure people if you become a tailor. If you're losing copious amounts of blood we can use it as a tourniquet.

Co-workers: Then you can pretty much kiss that limb goodbye.


Co-workers: Now you just need to convince Josh.

Josh then spotted said tape measure.....

Josh: What is that? And why is it in the cart?

Me: It's a tiny tape measure...... obviously.

Josh: Put it back.

Me: Oh come on. I NEED this!

Josh: Why do you need a tiny tape measure that only measures up to 6 ft? We already have normal sized tape measures that measure much further.

Me: You don't understand. This is not just a measuring device.

I then proceeded to inform him of the many uses. And at this point my co-workers joined in in giving examples of ways to use it.

-dog leash
-ferret leash
-cat leash
-decorative headband
-blindfold for an infant
-make-shift handcuffs in case of citizen's arrest
-keychain (it really is a keychain)

And then, I put forth my closing argument... which I'm pretty sure was the selling point.

Me: It's also a money maker!

Josh: How could it possibly make money?

Me: So we get a group of people and they all put a dollar in the pot. We say, "We are going to play the sound game. Everybody will close their eyes, we will make a sound and whoever guesses correctly wins all the money in the pot" which we will tax but not tell them until the game is over. "If nobody guesses correctly then we keep the money." Then everybody will be so sure they can guess and throw their money in. We will then pull out the tiny tape measure, feed the yellow metal measury thing out and shake it so it gives off that weird twangy metal sound. Nobody will EVER guess it is a tiny tape measure so we will win all the money every time.

Josh: Just give it to me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, THAT is how you convince your boss to buy you something you absolutely need.

Today I went to the mall with Aaron and proceeded to measure everything I saw. He was immediately annoyed and repeatedly asked me to stop. This thing has basically already paid for itself.

Here's me measuring the cookies I made:

I love this thing.

1 comment:

  1. I need to try your "persuasion" technique this week. I hope that I am as effective as you. Now I just need to find reason to use it!