Monday, November 29, 2010


I just wrote and posted this on my phone. Nuff said.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


My family has unique bathroom terminology. Allow me to elaborate:

#1: ictory
#3: wictory

This post has nothing to do with that.... except it has everything to do with ictory.

Every morning I wake up in one of many unfortunate situations.... all stemming from the need to pee really bad.
I either:
wake up twenty minutes before my alarm goes off (goodbye last fulfilling minutes of snooze time)
wake up in time to hear a bird that is chirping that would not have woken me up but is now enough to keep me awake (note to self, watch Failure to Launch for inspiration and promptly buy BB gun)
wake up and remember the homework I was supposed to do (Maybe my teacher won't notice i just BS'd ten pages of crap in size 20 font with triple spacing and 6 in. margins)
wake up shivering beneath my blankets regretting having slept with my fan on and desperately hoping that today is the day I inherit Matilda's powers and can flip the switch off with my mind

And of course, the very thing that woke me up..... having to pee.

Every morning I wake up and dread getting out of bed to pee.
I tell myself: NO MORE WATER BEFORE BEDTIME! (like I'm 5)
And every night before I go to bed I think: I'm SO thirsty... surely my body has overcome this unnecessary need to relieve itself after consuming large quantities of liquid. Tomorrow will be different and my body will just absorb all of the water I drink.... yes that's it.... fill the WHOLE Dicky's cup..... drink it all Kayla.....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sister 1

I was writing a paper in the library yesterday (for like four hours... and I didn't even finish) when my sister Kelsey signed on to G-chat. Made my night. The following is a verbatim transcript of part of the convo. Enjoy.

kelsey813: totes
what page are you on?

kcarpenter0508: Well, I'm kind of fillin in my outline. I have about four pages of actual paper and about 5 pages of outline

kelsey813: oh
yucky shmucky

kcarpenter0508: yeah. I'm not sure I'm going to finish it tonight

kelsey813: when's it dizzle?

kcarpenter0508: it's dizzle after thanksgizzle but we are supposed to have peer edizzles in clizzle tomizzle

kelsey813: hilaryizzle

kcarpenter0508: I am smizzling and looking like an idizzle in the libizzle right nizzle

kelsey813: I'm in my apartmizzle eating my pastizzle, drinking my wizzle and watching televizzle
and laughing out loud

kcarpenter0508: trying not to laughizzle out lizzle in the libizzle.... I'm on the quiet flizzle. No nizzle aloudizzle

kelsey813: I'll laugh extra lizzle for you my nizzle

kcarpenter0508: thanks sizzle

Sunday, November 21, 2010


I lost my phone.... two times. This time I think it's permanent.

Well.... merry early Christmas to me... time for a new phone.

Is it just me or are my blog posts getting progressively less thought out and more boring?

The end.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I'm only gonna say this once...

and that is,

I love

You may now commence the mocking.

Now shut up.

In four days I am going to the midnight showing of HP7 (part 1) and it will be amazing... and there will be people dressed in robes..... and we will talk about how different the movies are from the books....and we will, on more than one occasion, thank J.K. Rowling.....and our minds will be blown that one person thought up this entire story and took 10 years to write it.....and when the WB sign comes on the screen and Hedwig's Theme starts playing there will be squeals of excitement followed by loud shushing and awestruck silence.

And then... in July, for part 2, we will do it again... and though Harry will live forever in our hearts, his story will finally be complete.

(imagine me saying this standing behind a podium in front of a large crowd with inspirational music playing softly in the background)

Now you may re-commence the mocking.