Tuesday, June 12, 2012

If I hadn't helped, she'd probably still think Arkansas is an acceptable place for humans to live.

----this is still not the post I was talking about posting, I just realized this was an unfinished draft, and if I'm going to not blog for months, I might as well return with a bang... not a whimper*----

How did I help you ask? (ugh sometimes I hate myself for writing stupid questions like that) I provided her with some excellent tips on how to get accepted into Baylor/ nail down an apprenticeship. Done and done.

Here are the tips I emailed Erin throughout the day as she interviewed at BU.  

Tip 1: Baylor LOVES money. At some point during your interview process, take out your wallet and accidentally drop a $100 bill on the ground. Make sure Baylor representatives are watching. You’ll know they saw it if their eyes turn into dollar signs.

Tip 2: At some point it would be helpful to mention your baptism (by immersion because honestly, do the others even count?) even if it doesn't seem to flow with the conversation at hand. Baylor's affiliation with the BGCT is not to be forgotten.

Tip 3: In normal speech, replace the word very with BEAR-y. Ex: I am BEAR-y excited to tour campus. –or- Thank you BEAR-y much for the opportunity to interview with you. Not only will this convey your love for Baylor but also you’re adorable child-like enthusiasm.

Tip 4: Incorporate Baylor specific lingo in conversation (will impress all parties) Ex: I can't wait to work out at the slick (McLane Student Life Center) -or- Maybe we should grab lunch at the SUB (Bill Daniel Student Union Building) -or- I just love the BSB (Baylor Science Building, not the Big Science Building, which is what Aaron and I were convinced it was called for almost our entire freshmen year) -or- Is there anything better than gazing at Joy and Lady? (Our two North American black bears, who are actually sisters!)

Tip 5: Order Dr. Pepper when eating meals, and carry a Dr. Pepper with you at all other times. This should be a can or bottle. Dr. Pepper from Sonic is not an acceptable substitute because the point is for Baylor to know that you are drinking a good ole fashioned DP.

Tip 6: DO NOT share colorful anecdotes about any sexual  experiences in college. Ouachita may be progressive, but leave it in Arkansas. Us Baylor girls keep our knees together, even after marriage.**

Tip 7: Never say never because Justin Bieber doesn't and his girlfriend is coming to Baylor (we can only hope)

Tip 8: If all else fails, and you don't know what to say, just talk about your extreme distaste for all things A&M. If there's one thing we Christians hate, it's anything that comes out of college station, whether it be an Aggie, collies, white towels, or simply the sound of a whoop. 

So thanks, dedicated readers, for BEARing with my tips. Now I've got two new friends in the Wack, who I can only imagine will be providing home cooked meals for yours truly... I mean it's the least they could do right?

*Yes, I know that's not how it goes.

**Tip 6 was edited due to possibly... slightly... maybe a bit of.... inappropriateness. I mean, I've got a wide audience folks... I don't want to offend anyone... I am a Baylor girl after all. ;)

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