Saturday, November 27, 2010


My family has unique bathroom terminology. Allow me to elaborate:

#1: ictory
#3: wictory

This post has nothing to do with that.... except it has everything to do with ictory.

Every morning I wake up in one of many unfortunate situations.... all stemming from the need to pee really bad.
I either:
wake up twenty minutes before my alarm goes off (goodbye last fulfilling minutes of snooze time)
wake up in time to hear a bird that is chirping that would not have woken me up but is now enough to keep me awake (note to self, watch Failure to Launch for inspiration and promptly buy BB gun)
wake up and remember the homework I was supposed to do (Maybe my teacher won't notice i just BS'd ten pages of crap in size 20 font with triple spacing and 6 in. margins)
wake up shivering beneath my blankets regretting having slept with my fan on and desperately hoping that today is the day I inherit Matilda's powers and can flip the switch off with my mind

And of course, the very thing that woke me up..... having to pee.

Every morning I wake up and dread getting out of bed to pee.
I tell myself: NO MORE WATER BEFORE BEDTIME! (like I'm 5)
And every night before I go to bed I think: I'm SO thirsty... surely my body has overcome this unnecessary need to relieve itself after consuming large quantities of liquid. Tomorrow will be different and my body will just absorb all of the water I drink.... yes that's it.... fill the WHOLE Dicky's cup..... drink it all Kayla.....

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