Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Open your mouth, close your eyes, here comes a big surprise

Weird family:

I grew up in a household of game players (board, car, made up), which I am sure will lead to many other blog posts in the future.
One game my eldest sister made up was called "Open your mouth, close your eyes, here comes a big surprise". I'm sure you can pretty much surmise what the game entailed, but for those of you who are slow on the uptake, allow me to explain.....
One person sits in a designated chair when it is their turn. The other players, however many there may be, take turns choosing foods out of the kitchen. Upon picking their poison, they look to the person in the chair and tell them, say it with me, "open your mouth, close your eyes, here comes a big surprise."
Needless to say, being in the chair requires a lot of trust in the other players, and is a very vulnerable position. I am, to this day, a picky eater and I blame it on this very game.
I played the other day with my boyfriend, allowing him to take the punishment first. I, having been traumatized in the past, was friendly. I offered him grapes, cookie dough, and a pecan. Then, thinking I had earned his loyalty, I took my turn in the chair. I was fed bitter, unsweetened cocoa powder, a mouth full of honey, and a croûton. I will likely not play this game for a very long time, or ever again.
What's that? You were wondering about my traumatic experience? Well, allow me to explain. (Que scaling harp)
One day, as a young, and innocent might I add, child, I agreed to play this heinous game. After my older sister and I gave our eldest sister a piece of chocolate, and after I watched her spray cooking spray into our middle sister's mouth, I began fearing for my turn.
Well, I took my place in the chair, opened my mouth, closed my eyes and accepted my surprise. It was a chicken heart.

WHAT!? A chicken heart you say?

Yes a chicken heart. I was fed a chicken heart. Chew on that (no pun intended).

In case you are wondering what a chicken heart even looks like, I will show you.
Okay, not really, but that's what it felt like in my mouth. In all seriousness, here it is:

That's all for now. I was wounded, I healed, and yesterday, after a mouth full of honey and croûtons, my scars were ripped wide open.

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