I know what you're thinking:
But no.
Picture this:
Only more evil.
I managed to find a copy of the squirrels' daily agenda. It was nearly illegible and written in squirrel so I've copied it for you here:
7:30am-10pm: frollick outside- chase each other around and be adorable
10pm: go inside but be very quiet and sneaky
11pm: wait for apartment dwellers to fall asleep
12am-5am: crawl silently in the ceiling until the spot directly above the apartment dwellers' has been found
5:30am-7am: scratch with the fury of ten thousand squirrels
7:15am: hear apartment dweller's alarm sound, stop scratching and return to outside for frollicking.
Repeat tomorrow and every day until the end of time.
I also managed to find a copy of Aaron's internet search history:
Squirrel in ceiling
Squirrel scratching in ceiling
Squirrel scratching incessantly in ceiling
How to kill all the squirrels everywhere.
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